I saw the signs and chose to put them aside as I thought things would surely get better over time. They didn’t! Just a little over a year ago my own son, at the tender and vulnerable age of 14, was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Getting the official diagnosis brought me both relief and distress. Relief because after witnessing since birth my son’s unique but worrisome ways of thinking and then have it escalate until he ultimately fell into a severe manic episode, the diagnosis made so much sense. Distress because now my son may be labelled with a “mental” problem for the remainder of his life. I also worry he will become ill again. The doctors told us “Alex” was likely predisposed to his illness because Bipolar Disorder runs in the family and its hereditary tendencies were bound to strike again. Alex was one of the not-so-lucky ones.

Since day one, Alex has been a very intense and serious child. Of course these qualities aren’t always a bad thing and for a long time we admired his maturity. What was wrong about the situation is the intensity of these qualities became so severe they prevented him from leading a normal life. When most of his peers were taking life in stride, Alex began excessively worrying about every little detail and held his ethics in so high a regard, he isolated himself. He would tell me occasionally he was having feelings of guilt and sadness but didn’t know why. He was also having trouble sleeping and would toss and turn for several hours before finally succumbing to exhaustion. I had hoped it was growing pains but was becoming increasingly concerned. Then finally it became obvious something was seriously wrong. After a series of unanticipated stressful events (including his grandmother’s death), he could no longer hold it together and spiralled into a manic episode. At that point, there was no denying we needed to seek professional help immediately.

I cannot tell you how distraught and saddened I was to have my son admitted to the Psychiatry ward at our local children’s hospital. Second to losing a child, it’s probably a parent’s worst nightmare. The first few weeks in the hospital were mind-numbing – for all of us. Before Alex could be treated with any medications, his symptoms and behaviours had to be carefully monitored. We had to watch as his mind spin so out of control he could no longer think about anything clearly or have a simple conversation. At one point, he had to be secured in the “safe” room because he was so convinced he had special physical powers, he was a danger to himself. It was a devastating experience to watch your own flesh and blood be so out of touch with reality. But at the same time we knew he had to be there as the alternative would have been much, much worse.

A state of mania varies among it’s sufferers but for Alex he experienced many of the more frightening ones. He believed he would run for President of the United States – next week. He was also certain he would compete in the Olympics – tomorrow. He planned mergers of huge organizations which he knew nothing about. He made drawings of inventions for things which didn’t make sense. He composed cryptic music and scrawled random words on his wall. At one point, he was even hearing voices. His tone of voice transformed into someone I didn’t recognize. His eyes were empty. From an outsider’s perspective, we knew he was very ill. As far as Alex was concerned, he was just smarter and more energetic than everyone else. He was also extremely angry with us for putting him “in there”.

When medications were finally prescribed, it then took several days for us to start seeing any improvement – not to mention having setbacks from some drugs that were causing adverse reactions and needing to switch to something else. It was a very frustrating process to say the least but we held on the best we could.

Then, finally, Alex turned a corner – a huge corner. Like a veil lifting off his mind, he woke up one morning like his true self. Although still fragile and frightened from his traumatizing experience (he remembers everything), we knew we were getting our son back. Within a week, he made so much progress he was discharged from the hospital. The day after that, he started a new school year. We were unsure how he would cope but thankfully he managed to ease his way back into the swing of things. By the end of the school year, he had kept his marks high, earned a Duke of Edinburgh Award, received two swimming certifications and participated in a variety of school sports. We were so proud of Alex’s accomplishments after everything he had been through. Looking back, we know our decision to get him help was pivotal to his recovery. Today, we consider Alex to be one of the success stories. It was a new beginning for us. But sadly, as I have learned, that doesn’t always happen for everyone.

According to Statistics Canada, teenagers and young adults aged 15-24 experience the highest incidents of mental disorders of any age group in Canada. Shockingly, many of those kids’ parents are reluctant to get them help simply out of fear of what others may think. I’ve also learned that one in every five persons in the world experiences some sort of mental illness during their lifetime. Seems quite common doesn’t it? Yet, persons with a mental illness and their loved ones get good at hiding it and aren’t so forthcoming when seeking help or sharing their illness with others. They do not realize how disastrous it can be to remain silent. Just read the statistics on suicide and mental illness for only one example as to why this is so.

On the other hand, who could blame them for not speaking up? When we talk about mental disorders and illnesses there’s usually an unspoken stigma behind them. As a society, we don’t discuss mental issues like we do cancer or diabetes. Why is that? As difficult as some of these other illnesses can be to cope with, they are socially acceptable and openly discussed. When it comes to a mental health issue, however, it’s not so easy to talk about anymore and is usually hidden under layers of fear and misunderstanding. Worst of all, this fear stops many people from getting the help they need and/or prevents them from demanding better mental health care. For persons with a mental illness, it can truly be a double-edged sword. For government, there is no squeaky wheel to propel the necessary changes!

The question remains, if mental illness is so common and is just like any other physical illness that needs treatment, then why on earth are we still treating it like the elephant in the room and not insisting more attention is given to the cause?

Perhaps I am contributing to the elephant’s status by not being completely open with my son’s illness to my acquaintances. Yet, because I know this stigma exists, I have chosen not to use my son’s real name for this story. Sad, but true! I must realize though that this is my son’s illness, not mine, and it’s his choice whether or not to disclose it. After all, at the current age of 15, he is old enough to be making many of his own decisions and I must respect his privacy. Understandably, he is also still sensitive to his illness despite how we openly discuss it at home. If it were me, I would hope I would be open with my illness – especially after the research I have done. I have not only educated myself about mental illnesses in general but have also learned of the lack of funding and support it receives – locally and nationally. It only takes a small scratch from the surface to realize how desperate our mental health care systems are. So, even though I will respect my son’s privacy, that does not mean I cannot continue to learn and be an advocate for him behind the scenes. As a mother and supporter, it is my promise to become that proverbial squeaky wheel!

Today, Alex is considered completely recovered. We cannot use the word “cured” because chances are the moment he stops taking medication, the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder will return. He still sees his psychiatrist every few months just to keep tabs on how he is doing and to ensure his medication continues to be the right kind and dosage. We are completely thrilled with how he is progressing. Alex is the same old conscientious kid but now takes life a lot less seriously. He laughs often and enjoys life more – he’s even relaxed his stringent morals just a bit. He is slowly getting his life back and we can all see the difference in him. It’s very encouraging.

Although there is a possibility of relapse, I try not to let this ruin our optimism. I must find a balance between celebrating our son’s recovery and focusing on new research and treatment options. It’s a tricky line to walk but I must not get complacent.

I truly believe we are on the cusp of exploding the barriers to mental health and that my son will be part of a changing society and a changing government who will choose to support and embrace persons with mental illness instead of turning a blind eye. After all, how can we heal our bodies if we cannot first heal our minds? It’s going to happen… and soon. I know it!